Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
