How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
someone owes me an orgasm
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
