Only a mothe r could love this liver
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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