right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
