Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
