Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
