I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize