she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
