I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
