awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
