"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
