i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sponge bath it is.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
