I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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