As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dignity is for republicans.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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