Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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