Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
