I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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