I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
