Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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