I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
