TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
either way he was missing a nipple.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
