So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize