i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
