By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
