there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
