Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
