he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm too high and old for this...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
