I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Screwed.edu
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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