Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
