worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
