South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
