1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
