Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
