What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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