dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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