I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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