she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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