so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
