this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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