That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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