i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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