i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
