Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
