Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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