I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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