She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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