so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The air was thick with penises
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
