What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
