Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize