there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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