At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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