How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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