I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize