i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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