Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize