Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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