He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
