Well apparently he's into motor boating.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
