my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
