Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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