he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
