I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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