I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize